Gurbax

It's August 2007, time to celebrate 50 years of independence from imperial rule. 50 years of peace, inter-racial harmony, tolerance and prosperity. 50 years of roti canai, nasi lemak and char koey teow. 50 years of all the things that make us so quintessentially Malaysian, and proud of it. Most importantly, 50 years of singh jokes. Following is an exerpt of a conversation with my homie cataphrax...

me:

today encountered this name:

Gurbax Singh

cataphrax says:

ahahha

wtf

sounds like some industrial product

ahahhahaha

http://www.sikh-history.com/sikhhist/warriors/gurbax.html

selambe google

WTF

damn free man you

Baba Dip Singh <<--- sounds damn hiphop

bubba ray

bubba dip sing

yank singh

Guru Tegh Bahadur

damn funky names man, back in the day

nowadays all bodoh ass sikh names

bhai parents langsung tak creative la

jagdeep

ranjit

like damn kurap names

tu ah

kalau got bubba dip all

gurbax

tampax

tampax kaur

or should just call them brutal names

leviathan singh

behemoth singh

ahahahahahaha

monolith singh

but if grow up to be those relatively short and scrawny bhais then habis

sure kena gelak

jaghanot singh

fuh

happening

cannondale singh

sai khlop singh

onslaught singh

massacre singh

blitzkreig singh

rahm page singh

ahahahahaa

ROTFL

obliterate singh

diplodocus singh

decimate singh

tyrannosingh rex

snufflelofugus singh

baalan singh

deathstar singh

darth singh

imperial singh

mum'ra singh

ATAT singh

that one over lah

rat-tat-tat singh?

how about shoei singh

tak payah pakai helmet

arai singh

nolan singh

Peltor Singh

Alpinestar Singh

ape lak

alpine singh straight la

takara singh

elf singh

V power singh

wait

V-Power Kaur

singh gular

socialist singh apo

singh tel

billet singh

7076t SIngh

garrett singh

hell singh

toonya singh

salsadip singh

connois singh

max singh mus

turret singh

nimitz singh

hummer singh

when i was in wwII they called me spitfire singh

Ama Singh Race

Ann Kaur Beer

ahhaah

cataphrax singh

kote la

i think can abbreviate to XNGH

like +ings

XNG

+XNG

baru brutal

napalm xng

ahahah

devastation +xng

galvatron +xng

unicron +xng

zebra xing

ananna

sohai

monday sing-along


spider pig
spider pig
does whatever a spider pig does
can he swing
from a web
no he can't
he's a pig
look out
he is a spider pig

Can you slam a rotating door?

Alright, readers. Your mission, should you choose to accept is to write your best Chuck Norris testimonial. I'll get the ball rolling...

1. Chuck Norris killed the video star.
2. Crying over spilt milk is when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you in the nads.
3. The only women Chuck Norris doesn't have sex with are nunchucks

Edit: I think this one is the money...
Stevie Wonder wrote "Superstition" when he saw Chuck Norris.

Big wheel keep on turning
Proud Mary keep on rolling

The Edge reports that there's a new development in the Proton-VW deal to make it more 'palatable' for Proton's shareholders i.e. dastardly UMNOputras. VW will control Proton's international dealer network while Proton will maintain control over the local scene.

In short, Protons will not get cheaper. They can price their cars as they please. The government will still impose cutthroat taxes on all other makes of cars. UMNOputras continue to get richer. Rakyat continues to make Patriotic Monetary Contributions for every automobile purchase.

VW wins by benefiting from Proton’s AFTA status and will be able to distribute its products at just 5% tax within the ASEAN region. They also benefit from a certain deal that Proton has with Japan and should be able to penetrate the Japanese market with minimum tariffs imposed. Coupled with low cost of manufacturing and labour to produce its vehicles in Malaysia, I’d say VW is on the money.

Proton is on the money.

The government is on the money.

What more with the new voluntary (for now) car scrapping policy. RM5000 tops to write off a reliable old banger for a nasty new Proton? Come on. Tell the army to trade in those Nuris instead. They’re about as safe and reliable as your average Proton.

And the rest of us, well seeing as we can’t all afford new cars, and soon our old cars may be scrapped for a mere RM5,000 or less, the only way to get around will be by doing the foot beat. So y’all best start running. I know I have.

I hereby wish to end my post with the words "With All Due Respect", seeing as bloggers who insult and ridicule gonna have their asses hauled. And I don't wanna get my ass hauled.

Wassup Bhai

Having worked in PeeJay for the past 6 months of my life, I couldn't help but notice the concentration of Punjabis here. And in keeping with the laws of economics, supply & demand and all that sorta shit, where there's Bhais there's bound to be the accompanying merchandisingh. Pardon the pun (*jab*).



Ok ok, getting to the point, see there's plenty of shops selling Punjabi Suits. And really, with so many bhais walking around, one can't but help wonder which ones are authentic bhais, and which ones are merely trying to blend in by wearing a Punjabi Suit.

So until the next update, I want all you readers with your fancy schmancy camera phones to paparazzi me some shots of which bhais you think are authentic and which you think are impersonators. Submit all photos to durifto@gmail.com

Over and out

TAG???

One would think the Arsenal of Bloggers being sensible, mature person(s?) and champion of the politics of the working class would have outgrown childish pursuits like TAG. Ugh. So now it seems I'm supposed to write 6 weird things about myself because Pazuzu TAGGED me. I think Pazuzu should take the bus instead of cabs. What do you call a turd on a bus? (Mystery prize awaits every correct guess)

Weird things about myself

6. I do a pretty good impersonation of a tree. Looking for a tree hugger. Only females need apply.


5. I am a writer. I hate to write. I only write to get paid. I only started blogging to earn the adoration of my legion of female fans. Then I found I had male fans as well. I quit blogging. Pazuzu has a legion of female fans (only). Pazuzu tagged me. I start blogging again. I think the turd should take the bus.

4. I never wash my towel. After I bathe, I am the cleanest thing in the house. Towelling myself dry makes my towel cleaner.

3. I don't like mushy fruits. Crunchy fruits are OK. But I generally don't like fruits all that much.

2. Every time I walk into Ikea, I feel like stealing the books on the bookshelves. Yes they're all in Swedish. No I can't read Swedish. Why? I intend to ebay them off to Swedishes. If caught and questioned, I'll just start yelling loudly in Swedish.

Guard: Berhenti!

Me: Saab?

Guard: Apasal lu curi buku?

Me: Saab?

Guard: Lu bodoh ke apa?

Me: Saab.

Guard: Mari ikut saya ke balai.

Me: (While running) Saab!!

1. What do you mean I'm weird???

halal is chinese genocide

I was reading in the papers with much amusement how traders in Cheras were petitioning to the town council to allow pork to be sold in a certain local market. Since no pork was allowed to be sold there at the moment, no chinese would go there. It's clearly evident in a chinese dominated community like Cheras that the economy runs on pork. People go to buy pork and then only, maybe, everything else. If Hitler wanted to cleanse the world of Chinese, I'm sure he would have figured out a non-gaseous method. Now I think I need my regular fix of siew yoke.